icon to cast your opinion.
Q: When did the Pilgrims land at Plymouth Rock? A: 1620. As you can see, I’ve memorized this utterly useless fact long enough to pass a test question. I now intend to forget it forever. You’ve taught me nothing except how to cynically manipulate the s
Q: Where is Plymouth Rock? A: I am not presently at liberty to divulge that information as it might compromise our agents in the field.
Q: Explain Newton’s First Law of Motion in your own words. A: Yakka foob mog. Grug pubbawup zink wattoom gazork. Chumble spuzz.
Q: What was the significance of the Erie Canal? A: In the cosmic sense, probably Nil.
Q: What happened in Concord in 1775? A: Let’s be honest. You’re asking me about Concord? I rely on the bus driver to find my own house from here. Concord could be on Neptune for all I know. And what happened 220 years ago? I’m a kid. I don’t know
Q: Mr.Jones lives 50 miles away from you. You both leave home at 5:00 & drive toward each other. Mr.Jones travels at 35 mph & you drive at 40 mph. At what time will you pass Mr.Jones on the road? A: Given the traffic around here at 5:00, who knows?
Q: What important event took place on December 16, 1773? A: I do not believe in linear time. There is no past and future: all is one and existence in the temporal sense is illusory. This question, therefore, is meaningless and impossible to answer.
Q: 2+7? A: I cannot answer this question as it is against my religious principles.
Dad, how come you live in this house with mom, instead of in an apartment with several scantily clad female roommates.
I've got plenty of common sense, I just choose to ignore it.
A little rudeness and disrespect can elevate a meaningless interaction to a battle of wills and add drama to an otherwise dull day
what is a pronoun? Calvin - a noun which has lost its amateur status!!!!
The one good thing about life is that it never gets that bad that it can't get any worse
C: What’s the answer to question 2? S: Eli Whitney and the Cotton Gin. C: But this is a math problem. S: It’s a trick question.
C: What is 12 + 7? S: A Billion.
C: What’s the answer to question 4? S: Imadoofus.
C: What’s 7 + 6? S: Three hundred billion gazillion. That’s a 3 followed by 85 zeroes.
C: What’s 9 + 4? H: Ooh, that’s a tricky one. You have to use calculus and imaginary numbers for this. You know, eleventeen, thirty-twelve and all those. It’s a little confusing at first.
C: What is 6 + 3? H: This one is a bit tricky. First we call the answer “Y”, as in “Y do we care?” Now Y may be a square number so we’ll draw a square and make this side 6 and that side 3. Then we’ll measure the diagonal.
C:What’s 3+8? H:Ok, assign a value “X”.“X” means multiply so that the numerator(That’s Latin for “Number Eigher”)& put that on the other side of the equation.That leaves 3 this side so what times 3 equals 8?The answer is 6
C: What’s a pronoun? H: A noun that lost its amateur status.
C: What is a peck? H: A quick smooch.
Leo. Creative and enthusiastic, Bossy, Determined, Optimistic, Dramatic
Aries. Adventurous, ambitious, impulsive, enthusiastic and full of energy
Libra. Diplomatic, likes change, tactful, charming and creative
Capri. inquistive mind, very rational, matured for his years and confident
Gemini. totally charming, way with words, fun loving,and a dreamer
Hello? Yes, I’d like to speak with the chief of police. Hello chief? Is it a law that your socks have to match anything else you’re wearing?
Allo? Eez these der Pooblic Lahbrorry? Yah? I em beeg eemportant rezearcher oond I require Eenglish voolgar zynonyms for disgustink body vunktions, yah? Allo? Allo?
Hello? Do you have books on homemade bombs? I need a book that lists supplies and gives step-by-step instructions for building, rigging and detonating them.
Hello? Valley Hardware? Yes, I’m calling to see if you sell blasting caps, detonators, timers and wire.
Hello, County Library? I need a book on painting theory and technique. Specifically I’m interested in graffiti. Is there a book that explains the proper use of materials and lists popular dirty words and slogans?
Hello? How much are your power circular saws? I see. And your electric drills? Uh-huh. Do you carry acetylene torches? Ok, ring it all up. This will be on MasterCard.
Read the daily strip from a comics site such as goComics.com
Read the Calvin and Hobbes Comic Books
Read a newspaper’s comic strip on Calvin and Hobbes
Get it forwarded from other Calvin and Hobbes fans
Great Storywriter - First Book: How to hate girls
Engineer - Transmogrifier would have been invented
Teacher - Doctorate in Philosophy