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29
A little rudeness and disrespect can elevate a meaningless interaction to a battle of wills and add drama to an otherwise dull day I've got plenty of common sense, I just choose to ignore it. Dad, how come you live in this house with mom, instead of in an apartment with several scantily clad female roommates. what is a pronoun? Calvin - a noun which has lost its amateur status!!!! The one good thing about life is that it never gets that bad that it can't get any worse

19
C: What’s the answer to question 2? S: Eli Whitney and the Cotton Gin. C: But this is a math problem. S: It’s a trick question. C: What is 12 + 7? S: A Billion. C: What’s the answer to question 4? S: Imadoofus. C: What’s 7 + 6? S: Three hundred billion gazillion. That’s a 3 followed by 85 zeroes.

14
C:What’s 3+8? H:Ok, assign a value “X”.“X” means multiply so that the numerator(That’s Latin for “Number Eigher”)& put that on the other side of the equation.That leaves 3 this side so what times 3 equals 8?The answer is 6 C: What is 6 + 3? H: This one is a bit tricky. First we call the answer “Y”, as in “Y do we care?” Now Y may be a square number so we’ll draw a square and make this side 6 and that side 3. Then we’ll measure the diagonal. C: What’s 9 + 4? H: Ooh, that’s a tricky one. You have to use calculus and imaginary numbers for this. You know, eleventeen, thirty-twelve and all those. It’s a little confusing at first. C: What’s a pronoun? H: A noun that lost its amateur status. C: What is a peck? H: A quick smooch.

14
Hello? Yes, I’d like to speak with the chief of police. Hello chief? Is it a law that your socks have to match anything else you’re wearing? Hello? Valley Hardware? Yes, I’m calling to see if you sell blasting caps, detonators, timers and wire. Allo? Eez these der Pooblic Lahbrorry? Yah? I em beeg eemportant rezearcher oond I require Eenglish voolgar zynonyms for disgustink body vunktions, yah? Allo? Allo? Hello? Do you have books on homemade bombs? I need a book that lists supplies and gives step-by-step instructions for building, rigging and detonating them. Hello, County Library? I need a book on painting theory and technique. Specifically I’m interested in graffiti. Is there a book that explains the proper use of materials and lists popular dirty words and slogans? Hello? How much are your power circular saws? I see. And your electric drills? Uh-huh. Do you carry acetylene torches? Ok, ring it all up. This will be on MasterCard.

13
Leo. Creative and enthusiastic, Bossy, Determined, Optimistic, Dramatic Libra. Diplomatic, likes change, tactful, charming and creative Aries. Adventurous, ambitious, impulsive, enthusiastic and full of energy Capri. inquistive mind, very rational, matured for his years and confident Gemini. totally charming, way with words, fun loving,and a dreamer

13
Read the Calvin and Hobbes Comic Books Read the daily strip from a comics site such as goComics.com Read a newspaper’s comic strip on Calvin and Hobbes Get it forwarded from other Calvin and Hobbes fans

10
Maybe, doesn't make a difference to me No way! Calvin and Hobbes doesn't belong to the movies Ofcourse, yes

10
Attack of the Deranged Mutant Killer Monster Snow Goons Yukon Ho! Something Under the Bed is Drooling The Days are Just Packed Homicidal Psycho Jungle Cat There’s Treasure Everywhere